Making Friends: The Art of Complimenting

A Simple Way to Spark Meaningful Conversations

One of my favorite ways to start a conversation is by offering a genuine compliment. A well-placed compliment not only makes someone’s day but also opens the door for natural, effortless conversation.

Some of my go-to compliments:

  • “Your kids play so well with others!”
  • “Your outfit is so bold—I love it! I wish I could step out of my comfort zone like that.”
  • “I love your shoes! Are they comfortable?”

Why These Compliments Work

Beyond simply being kind, compliments like these naturally lead to deeper conversations. Here’s why they’re so effective:

1. They Acknowledge Parenting Wins

As moms, we all know how hard it is when our kids struggle with social interactions. And let’s be honest—kind, well-behaved kids are often a reflection of their upbringing. When you notice a child playing well with others, acknowledging it not only makes the parent feel seen but also sets the stage for a potential friendship.

2. They Celebrate Confidence and Personal Style

I love complimenting people on outfits I would never personally wear. There’s something magical about someone who confidently rocks a bold look, and I admire that kind of self-expression. Who doesn’t love hearing they look as good as they feel?

🔹 A quick note: Keep compliments about style, not bodies. Saying, “I love how you put that outfit together!” is different from commenting on weight or size. You never know someone’s personal journey. I was at my skinniest when I was at my unhealthiest, and hearing “You look amazing!” felt exhausting because I didn’t want to be that small. Instead, focus on things that celebrate individuality—gorgeous curls, striking eyebrows, a unique fashion choice.

3. They Create Connection Through Shared Interests

There’s something about women and our love for recommendations. Asking specifics—“Where did you get that bag?” or “Are those shoes as comfy as they look?”—invites conversation that can naturally evolve into discovering shared interests. What starts as a compliment about a jacket might turn into a chat about favorite stores, motherhood struggles, or even weekend plans.

The Bottom Line

A well-thought-out compliment is more than just a kind remark—it’s an open invitation to connect. The next time you’re looking to strike up a conversation, try offering a compliment that feels authentic. You never know where it might lead!


How does it make you feel when you get complimented? Are you likely to keep the conversation going?

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