Your Personal Hype Girl

Not an expert- just a wife.

Would you accept a date with someone you didn’t vibe with? Would you accept a second date with someone who didn’t seem interested in anything you had to say? (If you answered yes to any of these things- we got other problems, for another day.)

If you answered no- this transfers into marriage as well.
Whether you are trying to get back into the habit of regular date nights or just trying to deepen your connection with your spouse, these three bedroom date nights can offer you somewhere to start.

1. Book Club

It’s no surprise to me that you want to skip over this one. Who thinks of date night and thinks of reading together? What’s more- when is the last time your husband shared his deep desire to read with you?

This book is different. There are two versions to the book I am going to recommend. One is read like a regular book, chapter to chapter. The other is a workbook. This book was recommended to me by my therapist at a time when we could not seem to get our connection to stay strong. There was no one event that led to this, but when you live with someone for 10+ years there’s bound to be some adjustment. It was suggested that we take turns, staying on pace with one another. Read one chapter while the other does the related workbook section and vice versa.

Hold Me Tight by Dr. Sue Johnson

Do it in your favorite date night outfit- interpret that as you wish. Light a candle. Set the mood. Use this as an opportunity to turn your bedroom into a refuge for honest feelings, vulnerable conversations and a space to gain understanding so that when date nights take you out of the house- you can live in the moment and enjoy every ounce of quality time.

2. TV Traveling

Our second favorite thing to do next to traveling is to tv travel (or social media, or air bnb). When we don’t have the time to travel, we plan on traveling. Watch shows about cool places, cool accomodations, look up unique places to stay and start to picture the day you get to take that trip.

This always gets us excited to do life together. The goals are set, the budget is coming along.

We started planning our 15 year anniversary 5 years in advance. We knew that the budget would prioritize family expenses so we needed a realistic window of time to prepare. We were always sending each other places to visit, being inspired by shows that highlighted unique travel.

Sure, it’s just screen time- but magnify that by allowing yourselves to plan on enjoying life together. You might even be able to find local areas that remind you of the places you wish to see most, just to hold you over.
Enjoy the possibilities and romanticize your life together, right now- where you are.

3. A Trip Down Memory Lane

Take out all those photos of the life you’ve lived and thumb through them. Remind yourselves of how far you’ve come and marvel in what you have created together.

If you are storing all your precious memories on your phone, and only on you phone you need to change that ASAP.
There is something magical about holding a tangible memory. I don’t envision one day, my family visiting me and I bring out the ancient lightning charger to charge up the old smartphone so we can huddle and scroll through our precious moments.

Instead I see my family filling every seat in the living room. Albums are sprawled out on the rug. Dinner has been served, bellies are full and we are all giggling at the styles that have come and gone. Children are asking me what I remember about each moment and I can tell you, in detail. They are, after all, the good ol’ days.

To get there, we start here. In realtime. We prioritize our marriage, build trust and excitement and do the date nights. I hope you see where I’m going here. Date night needs to be non-negotiable. You get to choose how often, but don’t underestimate how vital it is to your well-being.

**Bonus tip:
Are you religious? Pray with your spouse!
Pray out loud for your hopes, your dreams, your struggles

Pray out loud for your hopes, your dreams, your struggles. Take turns and take a moment to appreciate the things your spouse wants as an individual. Not as someone who can help you endure your daily duties- but as someone who is their own person, with their own dreams and their own relationship with God, that you get to share a front row seat with.